Friday 2 August 2013

THREE WEEKS!!

     Oh my goodness, I am university bound again in 3 weeks! Craaaaazy!! This summer has flown by so flippin' fast! I am completely torn emotionally when it comes to thoughts of this move. I am beyond pumped to go back to school. I love it there, I love the campus and the city and gah! It's going to be fan-tastic. And I'm living in an apartment this year with a great friend. Things are going to be so different and I have faith that its going to pretty amazing. But this summer was great too. I didn't do much in the way of summer paradise or anything, but I've met some really amazing people that I can honestly say I'm going to miss like crazy. And of course my family. I have loved this time I've had with them and it will be hard to say goodbye again, but it'll be easier. This needs to happen. I'm excited to start the year without the intense home sickness. This was just a quick mention of what's going to happen but I PROMISE that I'm going to be keeping up with this over the school year. Hahaha, we'll see how this goes!



Saturday 25 May 2013

Inching Along

     So I'm obviously not very good at this...but I'm gonna make it a thing in my life, you watch. Haha, so I started a new job. I work for a company called HGS Canada doing technical support for another company whose name I can't mention because I would get fired if I did so, some confidentiality agreement and such. It would sound so much cooler if I could, but c'est la vie. Its a tough job, with a 4 week training program that's got so much information packed into it. But I'm learning a lot, which I suppose is good.
    SO FANTASTIC NEWS THAT I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT!!!! AHHH!! I received my letter from the Nursing faculty, and I've been ACCEPTED!!! So pumped, seriously! I feel like it would have been nice if I had made this decision before I completed my first year, but I have to say that the first year doesn't feel wasted. I struggled through it with my Mom passing and moving to a new city and everything, and it was good to have a year that doesn't really mean anything to get a hold of my bearings. And I'm ready for next year, I think. Its gonna be GREAT! And my best friend also transferred into Nursing this year, even though he attends a different university 4 hours away. But we'll finish together and suffer through it together. Big shoutout to him on his birthday, by the way, haha.
     So stuff at home is pretty rough. My dad is sick all the time and he lost his job. We're in pretty rough shape financially, but I have faith that God will see us through it. It will all work out in the end, its just tough going through this everyday and seeing people around me who really don't understand. But again, thus is life. I watched this video today called the Graduation Song (I'll link it at the end of this post) that was just so flippin' true. It talks about how you really know nothing of life until you graduate high school. Then you see how much it really sucks. And it does, but I think its important to try and see how amazing it can be sometimes. And I say that, but making it happen is different.
     I have this friend that I love to death, she is absolutely amazing. And what I'm about to say isn't meant to be against her at all, so if at any point it sounds like that, just remember this sentence. She just turned 21 and she just seems so happy in her life. She posts pictures on her Facebook that just show all these things she's doing in her life. She's crafty, she's got 2 jobs, going to school, waiting on her boyfriend to return off his mission, and she's just always smiling. She goes out and does things. Her life is happy. And sometimes I just look at her thinking "why can't I be like that? What am I doing wrong in my life?" And sometimes I just wonder if things weren't so hard at home, I could create something like that. I'm condemning my life at home or anything because I love my family so much. Sometimes I just my circumstances were different. That things were easier in different aspects of my life. Because I have this huge weight on my shoulder that drags me down and keeps me from doing this stuff. But anyway!! Its not a big deal. I still have time to be amazing, haha!




     But anyway, that's all I really wanted to talk about. OH!! I saw the new Star Trek movie with the famjam for my Dad's birthday, and seriously, was so beyond amazing!!! I loooooooved it so much!! Benedict Cumberbatch is so beautiful and amazing and GAH! And the season finale of Doctor Who was a couple of weeks ago, I cried like a baby but it was so amazing. Freaking love that show tooooo much!  But yeah!! Have a marvelous week!!!




(Graduation Song)





Wednesday 1 May 2013

Apologies and Explanations

     Hahaha, so I started this at the beginning of the semester with these great plans to make something wonderful out of it, that I would write in it every couple of weeks and talk about what was happening in my life. And as you can clearly see, that did not go as planned. You see, my life got a lot harder than I intended it to. I thought I would pick myself up after what happened to me and make something fantastic. But I underestimated how far I had fallen....and how great the distance was that I had to climb to get back up. And to be honest, I'm not there yet. I'm still having a really difficult time with motivation and rest and all sorts of things that are making life difficult.
     Now don't get me wrong, I know that life is hard, if my childhood has taught me anything its that life is very difficult and things rarely go the way we want them too. If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is, if things seems to be going well, that will probably end badly relatively soon. But I do this thing where I develop these fantasies of these wonderful changes I'm going to make in my life to become a person that means something.....and then I fall. In this case, the fall came in the form of a depression that causes me to have a lack of sleep and therefore a great amount of exhaustion, a severe lack of motivation, and a time period where I cried myself to sleep almost every night. So I went to my dad and I got help. And I'm feeling better. I'm not at my best yet but its a work in progress.
     So what are my plans? I've finished school for the year and I did really well despite the trouble that I had this term. I kept my scholarship, I found an apartment and a roommate for next year and I am beyond excited to start that journey. This is one of those times where I'm developing that fantasy of grandeur, but I really think I'm going to do it this time. I'm tired of this little hole I've built for myself. So I'm really going to change it.
     I still worry a lot. I'm worried for my dad because his health is not improving in any way. I'm worried for him when he doesn't have anyone to take care of him anymore. But I have faith that things will work out, eventually. But I also believe that we'll go through hell on our way there.
     As for this blog, I have intentions to write more of my adventures and we shall see where this goes. Goodnight.

Thursday 7 February 2013

Sometimes...

So, its been a little while and I'm sad to say that there isn't TOO much to report. I've received some wonderful gifts from some of my favorite people, the first of which being a bunch of letters from my home ward YSA which were beautiful and comforting. I miss them quite a bit sometimes. I was also super excited to receive mail, which as a university student, is pretty much the most exciting thing of life. But I really do love these people and am so grateful to have such amazing people in my life who care so much about me.


I also received a lovely Pre-Valentine's Day care package from my "adoptive" grandparents. I know its not as exciting as getting something from a guy on the good ol' Single Awareness Day, but it was nice just the same. They, too, are lovely people and I pretty much couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. 


So I love my friends, I really really do. And even though I DESPISE this picture of me, it says so much about these wonderful people that I get to see everyday and I thought I'd share with you.


Standing next to me, looking all gangsta, is Miss Whitney Shazam. Awww yeah, I bet you wish you had a name like that. She's pretty much the craziest woman alive and she's a-mazing. Seriously, she says the craziest things and you're left standing there like "where the HECK did that come from?!" But its fantastic. And the lovely lady on the other side of me is Lindsay, whose hair everyday reminds me of the 1920s. She's absolutely spontaneous and always makes me laugh, everyday. And the darlin' standing behind the camera is Emma. She's tiny, but you wouldn't dare let that affect your opinion of her. She's a big ball of fire and sass. I love these people. SOOOO much. So yeah, that's that. ;) hahaha. Honorable mention to this prof for my Development of Western Thought class.


Dr. Myatt. He's British and continually compares himself to Doctor Who, which, if you knew me, is a pretty big deal. He's hilarious, makes me laugh every class. Probably helps that I friggin love that class. And to end, here's a better picture of me to redeem myself from that AWFUL one above. 



"Life is a beautiful struggle."




Sunday 20 January 2013

Night Out With Ma Girls

     Hahaha, so I went out yesterday with Vanessa and it was supposed to be a pretty good day. We were going to see a movie and then the Science faculty was having this loving charity variety show. So we were kinda pumped to start the day.....but it kinda ended up being pretty meh. We went to see Silver Linings Playbook....which was okay. The more I think about it, the more I like it, but it was really strange. From a sociological standpoint, I can see how it would be really interesting, and I liked that about it. But when I left I just kept thinking how I could have really waited till it came out on DVD.


     But ANYWAY, we went back and had some supper and then headed out for the variety show. Just kind of tangential to my story, why the heck is it called a "variety show" these days instead of a "talent show?" It doesn't really make sense, did they no longer consider what people did on stage 'talent' and decided that they'd just refer to it as a variety of stuff.....? Back to my story. Umm, so we attended this show and it was, again, okay. It seemed to drag on forever and was a tad bit poorly organized, but there was some really good talent. So yeah....that was okay for a Saturday. I didn't get any homework done and I'll probably regret that for the rest of the week, but at least it was sort of relaxing. C'est la vie. 

                                           "Do it with passion....or not at all."


No idea what's wrong with my eyes in this....


Friday 18 January 2013

Hello There!

     Hello there everyone!! So, as the blog description thingy says, my name is Megan and I am an 18 year old university student. But that is truly the least interesting thing about me, I promise. Not to say that I'm, by any means, vastly interesting. But things are always happening around me. And I see, listen, and marvel at the world around me, which is, in fact quite interesting. So, this is me, telling you about my world.
     I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my life. Because it was violently shattered this past Christmas Eve by the unexpected death of my Mom. Now, I'm getting that out now so it's no surprise if I say something about it later. And it hurts....all the time. And though I know there are so many out there who care about me, I feel alone quite a lot. But ANYWAY! This blog isn't one for me to mope about my past, but to look forward to building my future.
     I want to talk about my family really quickly because, well, they are the most important thing in my life. I have the most wonderful father on the entire planet, and I know every Daddy's Girl will say that, but this man is my hero. He has seen so much pain and sorrow in his short life, but he still finds the strength to smile and hold us together. He just lost the love of his life, but he still manages to make things work. He is the strongest man I know. And then there's my amazing younger brother. I say younger, but truthfully we're more like twins and he's a monster compared to me in size. I'm like 5'1 and he's like 6 feet. He plays almost every contact sport out there and he's absolutely hilarious. And he's my best friend. I can tell him anything. So these are my boys. Our life has just been torn apart, but we're trying to put the pieces back together, and I know we'll be okay. I've got two strong men in my life, and I couldn't be more proud to call them blood. We'll never be the same without Mom, but we'll be happy again.
     The second most important part of my life is God. Well, technically, he's tied for first, but he just happens to be second in this post. I am so flippin' religious. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Most people refer to us as Mormons or LDS. And I know there are many who would read this and scoff at my beliefs, who would call me weak. And frankly, that's okay because we're all entitled to believe whatever we'd like. And I'm not going to criticize your beliefs. I pride myself on not judging others on their life choices because it is YOUR LIFE. But my faith is an incredibly important aspect of my life. Its a comfort and a hope for my future. And I love it.
     I could lay out my life and favorite things for ya right now, but I'll not bore you with those...yet. I just wanted to tell you about the two things that, more than anything, have shaped me into the person I am today, and continue to shape the dreams I have for the future. I look forward to pouring myself into this, and I hope that you enjoy it to some extent. Goodbye for now!!

                                     "Into the darkness you shine. Out of the ashes we rise."